The Dos and Don'ts of YA Romance

Imagine you're reading a book that you're liking and connecting with, it's feeling good and you're bobbing along, ready to see what happens next. Then WHA-BOOM. Something annoying happens and it's lost. All of it. The connection, the interest, the patience, the respect, and the increasing love. It comes to a screeching halt and then disappears. That wha-boom can come from many things and vary from person to person. Sometimes the wha-boom isn't really a wha-boom at all, but is a build-up of repeated offenders. But there is one aspect of a story that gets a beating more than others—in my opinion, at least—and that's romance. In YA, romance is a fickle thing and can conjure up more groans from me than any other part (the narrative and realism are very close). So I decided to make up a list of my personal dos and don'ts of YA romance (hence the title).

DO: Let it simmer

I want the slow-burning kind of love! I do enjoy a whirlwind romance now and then, but I realized that I'm in desperate need for a friend-turned-lover kind of relationship. Let that tension build! It builds up my emotions, the feels, the angst, and while it's not a quickie romance, it's still very exciting.

DON'T: Insta-love it

Of course, the opposite of tension-feeling and realistic love is insta-love. Who likes instant-anything? I'd much rather cook my oats then have those nasty packets, so why would I want to make my fictional romance instant as well? 

DO: Talking is a beaut

I don't want to be bogged down by dialogue and I love affection just as much as the next person (ahem, Alienated), but it would be nice if they talked more than they lay hands on each other. This is a bit like insta-love in the way of not feeling authentic. I don't FEEL the romance when all there is between them is lust.

DON'T: Overuse the understanding card

A big problem I have, especially in contemporary, is when the girl protagonists talk as if their love interest is so amazing and so special because he "understands" her like no one else. He can understand you, but don't keep saying it over and over as if I'm a stupid reader and you're trying to convince me of something. Hearbeat by Elizabeth Scott, anyone?

DO: Incorporate other "life stuff," but DON'T force conflict

We have a twofer! Here's the thing. Personally, I need something to be going on besides the romance. It can involve the romance, but make me care. Be cautious! I see many books just add conflict because they know they need it, but it's not developed well so I still don't care. And now I'm just annoyed.

DON'T: Clinginess

When I read about a love interest who clings, like guys who border on being abusive because they're controlling, I really feel like squirming and yelling, "GET OFF OF ME." Yes, they're on the other person, but I feel suffocated and frustrated just looking at it. And from what I hear from Twilight readers, I'm looking at you, Edward.

DO: Caring is sharing
When I say that, I mean that when you show that the two lovers truly care about each other (deeper than the quick, superficial stuff), it spills over and makes ME care. So really, the caring is being shared around. Rae Carson's Hector and Elisa , anyone?

DON'T: Make her be a flip-flopper
Flip-flopping usually happens to girl protagonists during a love triangle. Even though there should NOT be a love triangle anyways (so overrated, Lauren can tell you why), if you do have one, don't make her flip-flop between the guys. I get the heart's conflict, but when she constantly says she's in love with one and then says it to the other, I really wish that both guys would dump her. She deserves to be forever-alone.

What are your dos and don'ts for YA (or any category) romance?

Happy Valentine's Day! Go to my list here to have recommendations for great swoon-worthy books!