Thursday, October 9, 2014

Surfin' in the USF

In August, I talked about going to college.


Once again, I say college. I did dual-enrollment, but that was living at home. I know other bloggers on here (hey, Lili!) blog in college, even with other responsibilities. I only hope I'll be able to juggle it all as well as they do someday. I never realized how difficult the transition would be for me. The actual schoolwork isn't so bad, but suddenly I'm procrastinating my time a lot more. 

In the first week, I tried to really put myself out there socially. I went to almost all of the events, hung out with my floormates constantly, and had a minuscule amount of "me" time. All I wanted was to watch some The Big Bang Theory, ya'll. I finally did, but was developing procrastination issues. 

But here's what's been happening so far.

I've been trying new things...

Like rowing! Okay, I quit it recently, but I stuck it out for a month. I woke up at 5am Monday to Thursday EVERY week. The practices lasted unofficially from 5:45 to 8am, possibly a little longer. Land workouts (running, core, the machines, calisthenics) and water workouts (technique on the boat) happened every week. Surprisingly, rowing has more to do with the legs than the arms. 

Not like that though.
I quit because of back issues along with other things, such as money and time. It was for the best, but I'm glad I tried it. 

But today (I'm writing this on Wednesday), I actually tried a pilates class! I have no strength whatsoever, but I tried it. I'll be doing even more fitness classes next week! 

I've made extreme progress in my TV shows.

Probably not something I should be proud of, but it's as if all that "me" time I was lacking came back in full force and I binged watched several shows I was behind in. And it's possible that I watched two seasons of Big Bang in one week. 

I read and received some pretty great books.

HELLO, Killer Instincts! I was a little nervous to start it since I LOVED the first book, but this sequel. Wow. THIS SEQUEL. It blew me away and got me really motivated to make time for reading. 

I also received the gorgeous German version of Where She Went by Gayle Forman, which I don't understand, but it'll look pretty on my shelf. Cut Me Free by J.R. Johansson came digitally to me and man, I'm excited. As well as a print version of Soulprint by Megan Miranda, thanks to Bloomsbury. 

But I think the letter from Emma was just what I needed. 

I had many breakdowns.

I'll try to not spend too much time in this negative portion, but I think that it's important to say that I cried. A lot. It's embarrassing how much I did in these last two weeks. Depressing phone calls to my parents, feeling overwhelmed, hating all happened. And again, I wonder, WHY IS THIS NOT PORTRAYED IN FICTION? I give major props to Fangirl because it is the ONLY book I've read (or heard of) that has done this. Rainbow Rowell writes Cath's transition perfectly in my opinion. Props to them. Now let's get more out there so I can feel normal. 

Food and I have an even more intense love/hate relationship.

Well, first you have emotional eating. Then you have proximity eating (meaning, I'm in my dorm, the banana nut cheerios and peanut butter are RIGHT THERE). Dining halls and dining dollars (stuff you get with your mandatory meal plan that gets you "free" food on the onsite restaurants...hello, Jamba Juice and Chick-Fil-A!). And no homemade meals. And a college student's budget. I go to the gym, but I've definitely had anxiety about weight. 

But I know who my friends are.

I've had difficulty with people here. Mainly, one girl on my floor. I've never had a bully before, but she's a semi-one. While we were undeniably close in the first few weeks, I realized she's not someone I want to be around, especially under that treatment. At the same time, I've gotten texts and calls and even visits from my friends back home. I never communicated my problems here with them, but I believe they sensed I needed them. 

I've also gotten lots of support from bloggers (you know who you are). 

Next week, I'll be doing more fitness classes. I've already done Zumba and Pilates, but I want to try something I've never heard of before. I'll hopefully try out the fencing club. I'll be trying out this other Christian organization. I'll be motivating myself to get on top of visiting blogs and working on my own...but not feeling guilty if I fail. I'll be pushing myself, but still maintaing my TV shows, let's be honest. 

I'm still getting used to USF and pushing down fears of doubt, but at least it's normal. (It IS normal, yes?) And there's your super long catch-up post. If you made it through, congrats! 

Is transition this hard for you? What was your college experience? 


  1. Wonderful post, Summer. :) I can definitely relate on the frenemy/bully level. This girl and I were really close, and then she utterly betrayed me and my trust and has been rude since then. I am so glad your friends from home have been helpful and loving.
    I'm always here if you need to talk or rant or whatever. :)

    1. Thanks, Emma, and since I haven't been too present on here, I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm here for you as well! Oh no. That's awful about that girl!

  2. College breeds procrastination. I'm not exactly sure why, but it does. Without fail. ;) (Unless you're taking 6 courses in one semester, 5 of which are writing intensive. Then you don't have time to procrastinate.) But now I feel awful we didn't get to hang out while I was in Florida last weekend. I could have brought you a caffeine/chocolate/book/extra silly movie care package. Oh well, I suppose I can still do that, just plus shipping. ;)

    My college experience was a little different because I commuted (and worked unholy hours babysitting each morning) but I did have at least one good cry during my semester in Spain. I also laughed like a crazy person and got lots of weird looks on my walk to school after threatening to do my own cooking. My host mom was trying to fatten me up a la Hansel and Gretel. ;)

    As Dad kept telling me, it's not about learning or having fun or any of that other stuff the pamphlets tell you; it's about working the system, getting your degree and getting out. Of course, now I'm taking the LSAT in December, so I may be a student again soon. That's depressing. :)

    Wow, this just turned into a really LONG comment. So, last thoughts: take it easy. Don't worry about the people or the classes. None of it will last forever and you'll be way less stressed the less attention you give it. And as long as you have the time, try new clubs and exercise classes and all that fun stuff. Go see plays and orchestra/band concerts while you can still get in free. Watch silly kid movies when you need a break, and, when all else fails, go for a walk in the rain. :)

    1. I think procrastination started at college. It's definitely a college word. Aw! It would've been great to hangout, but no worries. Next time ;)

      Haha! It's awful that you cried, but I pictured you in the H&G story. That always creeped me out as a kid more than other stories. And THANK YOU! What your dad says is what I've been telling myself right now because it's what motivating me....but I feel like I'm the only one who thinks that, which makes me feel more insecure. Oh, wow, Kel! That might be a little sad, but exciting. Good luck!

      You're amazing. This comment is amazing. I love it. Thank you.

  3. Wow, good luck at college! Despite that you might be internally freaking out right now, you're probably doing better than I ever would. I hate change as much as the next person, and although I am pretty far away from going to college (as least, I like to think so), I can somewhat sympathize since I have moved and changed schools like 4 times in the little amount of time called my lifetime. I'm glad you're still committed to blogging and reading. I know how hard it is to simply keep posting with just school going on, and especially with all those activities that you're doing, it must be tough. Don't you fret though because you have amazing people (yes, including me) supporting you and who will always be there for you when you want to get something off your chest or need a good laugh or just plain want to fangirl. And of course, Sheldon will be there too :)

    1. Thanks, Kat! I bet you'll do amazing in college when it's your time (if you decide to go!) and I think you're actually way more prepared because of your time moving. I've never moved in my life until now! Thanks ;)

  4. Summer! <3 I was so excited to see this catch-up post pop up in my inbox - I feel like we haven't talked in ages, and I feel like I haven't been involved/supportive enough! I wish I could offer some advice, but as someone who has yet to make the switch to college and who doesn't even know how to deal with the stress of high school classes, all I have is DON'T PROCRASTINATE. Which I know is easier said than done for most people.

    Anyway, while you may be feeling lost, it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job of keeping everything together. "Free" food is the most tempting thing in the world, but all of your endorphin-releasing exercise is the perfect way to combat calories and keep yourself sane. And it's great that you're quickly figuring out who your friends are and finding your niche in various activities. The social aspect of college sounds almost as tiring as the academic one, but meeting good people is definitely worth it.

    Good luck with everything! I'm always here if you want to talk, and remember - in a few months, it will be winter break! :)

    1. EMILY! YOU especially have been on my mind. You don't realize how many times I've written and rewritten an email to you IN MY HEAD. It feels like I already sent it (story of my life). So it's really that hasn't stayed involved. For procrastination...HELP ME


  5. I've been thinking of you and hoping college has been going well! My college experience was different from yours and most others because it was in the same town where I graduated high school (I had only lived there two years before I started college though, so it wasn't like it was really where I was from) and lived with my parents. However, I think adjusting to the school part was hard. Most of my first classes were relatively easy, but it was a different way of doing things, and then I picked up a job a few months in, and yeah, it got stressful.

    Thankfully the social aspect of things was pretty easy for me The church I was already attending had a great college group that I transitioned right into and I already had my boyfriend and a couple of other friends there that I knew so that was nice. So sorry to hear about this semi-bully. :( Hopefully just being pleasant around her will eventually make her a little nicer. But I do understand... towards the end of college and even a little after there was a guy who joined our friend group that was really antagonistic towards my boyfriend/fiance/husband (depending on what stage of things we're talking about, lol) but not the other friends, and our other friends didn't seem to notice/care that he was this way towards us specifically. I wish I knew why he felt he needed to be that way, but at least he's elsewhere now. Maybe you won't have to deal with the floormate after this year.

    And good for you for trying out lots of new things! Who knows what you'll discover that you end up really loving! :)

    And I'm glad to hear you really liked Killer Instinct because I just bought The Naturals today, so now I'm really looking forward to reading it! :)

    1. Ooh yeah. My parents didn't want me to get a job right away and I was pushing to, but thankfully I never REALLY tried to get one. I don't know how I'd handle that.

      I've been really trying to find a church, especially one that I can meet similar-aged people. I have that club on campus, but that is so not enough. That's awful, but true that. I don't want to wish my time away (learned that post-graduation), but it does make me look forward to it.

  6. My first year of college was really hard for me. I went to a school two states away so I didn't know a single person. I had to do random roommates, obviously. The first month we all got along great but then they started hanging out with people they went to high school with. I was excluded and it made me really depressed. The classes I was taking had an average of 150 people in them, so making friends was difficult. I felt like I was getting nothing out of the college experience. The transition IS hard. It sucks most days but eventually you'll figure out who your real friends are. You'll get into a routine, you'll better balance your time, things WILL fall into place eventually, I promise! It just takes some time. Keep trucking girl <3 And if by the end of the year things aren't how you want them, don't be afraid to transfer!